It’s a solid total..
It’s a good milestone marker as well.
Ten years signifies a good amount of time put into something.
Ten years at a job is pretty good. May get you a watch or something.
Ten years with the same team – if you’re a professional athlete – is really impressive. Doesn’t happen much anymore.
Ten years with the same person? Good on ya!
Ten years of marriage? That’s a pretty fine figure as well.
Especially because, when you think about it, people are tremendously different ten years after they get married.
When you head down the aisle, you probably don’t have as many responsibilities as you do ten years later.
The “honeymoon phase” isn’t just a phrase – it’s true. Not much changes from the dating life to the married life (if, obviously, you’ve been monogamous the whole dating time.)
But you get to ten years of marriage….whoosh. The view out of the windshield is much different.
You probably have kids. Of various ages, personalities, and bathroom habits.
You may have a mortgage to think about. Job stress. The everyday “things” that have to happen around the house.
The whole family unit is like a little company that needs to be managed and cared for and developed and sustained.
On top of all that, you have the relationship stressors – the good and bad ones. You’ve come to know that person you’ve been with – for good and for bad. You know when to give encouragement, when to bite your tongue. When to walk the fine line and when to dive in with your thoughts.
You have to work at it if you want it to succeed. Yes you do.
Today, Leslie and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. Back in 2004 we were living in San Francisco. I was miserable in the job I had (well, miserable with the person I worked for). Pit in my stomach that, at first, started around 5 p.m. on Sunday evening, but got progressively earlier in the weekend. Just dreading Monday.
That went on for about 8 full months, the full time we were planning our Sonoma winery wedding.
Once the wedding was over, and our lease was up a month later, we packed up and drove back to New Jersey in my Honda Civic.
Once settled back in the Great State of New Jersey, the dark skies parted. The pit in my stomach went away with a good new job. We started our life. We got a couple of dogs.
The kids, they then followed and filled us out.
No doubt, it hasn’t been perfect. I’m not a perfect type of person, though Les comes pretty damn close. We’ve had our peaks and valleys, a circuitous route for sure to this ten. We’ve hung tough, thanks especially to Leslie, and are still on the journey. And we’re getting stronger, I’m sure.
I met Leslie on a cold, windy March night at a little seaside bar that is no longer there. Just like in a Springsteen song. It was the Born To Run, anything-can-happen of our time together.
Now, 14 years later, 10 as husband and wife, we’re firmly in the If I Should Fall Behind part of our life together.
We swore we’d travel, darlin’, side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
But I’ll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me..
Yes, we still have ups and downs. Yes we do. Comes with the territory.
But she’s my girl and I’m her guy.
Leslie: I still do.
© Mark V. Krajnak | JerseyStyle Photography | All Rights Reserved 2014